Just Kids

In the end we’re just kids, finding someone to hug in the dark
When unexplainable fears creep into the heart and soul
And just the thought of you close to me puts them all back to their places.
In the sea of darkness, through the waves of the sheets
Hopefully someday we’ll find each other,
Anchored in the arms of one another.
But floating in infinite bliss. - Just Kids, written by me.

D'aaaaw. I made a thing. I hope the mushiness of my personal feels are enough to compensate for the lack of posts in this blog. Ahaha.


For CA/misterskinnydjfancypantssweetiemuffintart

bakuna (vaccine)

akala ko panaginip
pakiramdam ko'y umakyat ako sa langit
yun pala'y dahil sa lalim ng tulog ko...
ay binuhat nyo nako papunta dun sa kwarto

nagising ako nun,
pero nagtulug-tulugan ako
kasi natuwa ako
na nakapulupot sa bisig nyo

matapos nun natulog na ulit ako
nalimutan ang lahat ng sakit
galing dun sa bakuna
na pinilit ko nalang itulog
habang nakadapa ako

For father's day...:)

Slipping Through the Cracks

Words are not enough
Sometimes silence makes it clear
.....Yet my heart is ill
---14
i long to say it
but i fear i never will
it's just that i love.....
---15

no drawings for now...sorry guys.

monochromicorn

it's dark and i can't see...but i know it's you who i'll follow...

 Let black be black

And white be white

Clarity as bright as day

Let it be, come what may...

Cover me in the shadow of your light.

Ever guiding me, ever saving me

From the snares of the enemy

Til the dawn of eternity...

---

All I can say for today is that....only a few people like noir films. Because a lot of us prefer a whole range of gray areas that fit our selfish standards. Black and white is so passe. Gradient is the trend. After all it does set the mood...keeps everything....'balanced'.

Eventually colorblindness will be an asset and people with 20/20 visions are cursed. The people who bask in the light are morons...and darkness is considered heaven.

We're in for a ride my friends. Buckle up.

Listen Easy

At the end of the day
Your Light matters more
Than anything I want or desire

The "love" I wish for pales in comparison
Even in just the slightest hint o' whisper
And that quiets me more than anything

At the end of the day
This is all I need
More than anything I want or desire.



Not much to say today...the song says it all. Goodnight everyone :)

Blue Skies

sooooo instagramish. haha. this is for day 3...based on a song that is also listed on my Mixtape Project! So this is kinda like hitting two birds with one stone LOLS. For my friend, Faye who loves Noah and the Whale...and for all of us out there moving on, there's always blue skies coming even if it's hard :)

and a blast from the past drawing:

This used to be you...
One sleepless night
When all my thoughts were about you
Wishing that you were holding me and all

Sometimes I wish it still,
But not to the point of making me ill
From sleeplessness and senseless wishing.
Nope. Not anymore indeed. Instead...

I'd like to think that he's someone
Who's deserving to hold me
Until we both fall asleep
Content, because our wishes have been fulfilled.

Love Barf

Tonight, poetry precedes the first drawing of the MP. Forgive my failure at literary things.

It's 430 in the morning,
and my thoughts are still back in time.
When your hand was on my shoulder,
and your eyes was on my every move.

When I had your full attention for a complete 1 hour or so.
Just to make sure if I'll be alright as we go home.

I don't know, and I'll never be sure as of now...
if you feel the same way I do about these little things
But one thing I do know...is that last night means a lot to me.

Call it mush, call it cheese
Heck call this the lamest repetitive thing ever
I don't care.
Because if you've been in my place --
Where you suddenly feel important enough to be made sure safe
until we reach the part where we have to part ways...

Then I really don't give a damn about anybody's opinions.
Even yours if you ever get to read this someday.
I so badly want to spoil everything by spilling my heart out to you.
But I've come to like the awkward friendship we're trying to go into...(it IS cute in a way)

Besides maybe someday...you'll come around and say
The words I hope to hear so that you'd know I feel the same way. :)

Sleeping Awake

A senseless post it might seem.
But funny how deep it was a while ago in my train of thought
Full of meaning, full of promise
Now it's all lost in the vast sea of memories
Long forgotten...hopefully to come ashore someday

Soon, hopefully, when eternity passes by

For now I close my eyes
And wonder about worlds beyond my own
Just to simply forget...
Or perhaps just simply
To make you stop and wonder
If I'm merely asleep, or purposely dreaming.

Life split into two
Wondering which one is true
One breathed into life
One drawn to life
And yet...one remains as it is
The other never content with who she is

Such is life through glasses split by white
With pink in front
and blue behind....
Will you invent a word for me?
So as much to make me sputter with glee?

But what is glee exactly?
Only but a form of shallowness, with pun intended.
Or perhaps one that makes us sing
And my helpless implication of puns keep a-pourin'

The words flow
But nothing changes...


I'm filled with philosophy, with no conclusions.

I am circling around God, around the complexities of my life,
and I have been circling for most of my life,
and I still don't know if I am a child of a lion, or the crashing waves,
or the best story you'll ever hear of.

A rendition I did of some site that suggested I make my own version of this poem:

I am circling around God, around the ancient tower,
and I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song. - Book of Hours by Rilke

 Hey! It was his birthday yesterday! Awesuuum...hahaha. Happy birthday Mr. Rilke. Thank you for the inspiration...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainer_Maria_Rilke

will update this post later to do a portrait of him =)

UPDATE! Here's the drawing finally =D

everything's been said and done

'pitter patter'

the rain drops said.
I listened to their words as I lay down to my makeshift bed.
This is a memory I say. A dream perhaps.

It was always during rainy cold nights that I remember being lost.
Where and when everything's been said and done.
Where and when I'm not truly myself.

But you accepted me wholly...in hopes to fill the hole in your heart.
Much as I wished that you could fill mine.
And instantly I was falling.

This is for you, my estranged lover.
And this is the apology that I hope would reach yonder.
Though I beg to differ...

For we met as strangers...
And we sadly part the same.

old drawing that fits the mood...now that i think of it...i think i'm stuck in a miserable cycle.
something's wrong with me. D:

---

bermuda parodies

you hear the cries
at night they resound
the roars of each wave
racing to their senseless deaths
upon the craggy rocks along the edge

like the pride in my heart
the anger that drives it to madness
the sorrow it becomes as it turns into foam

a heart with no rest
lost at sea
faraway...from any sign of life
distant from the calls of above

i resound the face and voice of the devil that was me
the sullen demeanor,
the angry composure
the eyes that would reflect the very darkest depths of what was once me


resurfacing, surging, desiring for blood
my own blood.

my own death...

it calls...

where's the light that would guide me through?
I feel so close yet far away.
Lost...but right in place.


spinning in circles I am...
creating a vortex, pulling me in...deeper and deeper

into the depths of the dark unknown

--- A narraive of sorts~ ---
All because of a book I'm suddenly feeling like a useless piece of garbage. I'm quite surprised really. It's been a while since I feel so pissed off over something so small. But I really still have issues with the strict regimen of religion -- even if what I believe in should not even be considered a religion in the first place...you think that Christians have a steady life? No. Satan hates us for one, you really think he'd sit around and rest with him knowing his enemy is out and about being productive? Sheesh. Second, it's a relationship...and it's not always that we feel mushy and lovey dovey with our loved ones. Especially if you have a borderline cynical pessimist/idealistic optimist for a brain. Ugh.


I love God really...but gee...do I really end up like such a worthless asshole for forgetting to bring up a book from the basement? Really? Seriously? And here I thought we shouldn't be bound by strict religious practices or whatever just to prove our faith. I'm really confused now.


And thus...He replies -_-

 ²² But Samuel replied:

   “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
   as much as in obeying the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
   and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
²³ For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
   and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
   he has rejected you as king.” - 1 Samuel 15:22-23 (Emphasis mine)

Sigh. But I really forgot. So I'm condemned for that?


²⁰ “Do not be afraid,” Samuel replied. “You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. ²¹ Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless. ²² For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own. ²³ As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right. ²⁴ But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. ²⁵ Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will be swept away.” - 1 Samuel 12: 20-25




I give up. I have a feeling I'd lose to this conversation so I'm stopping. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


anyway just ignore this part...it's a personal thing. you might mistake this as something else...so please...just dont. haha. read the poem and move on.

kinaumagahan

parang sampal sa mukha
na talaga namang nakakapagpamulat ng mata
ginigising ang tulog na diwa
hinahampas ka para maibalik sa tama

ilang bwan, linggo, at araw ka na bang tulog?
hinahayaang maanod ng agos
kung saan at kailan man sya dalhin nito
ni wala ka manlang laban
ni hindi ka manlang pumapalag
para dalhin ang sarili mo sa mga bagay na gusto mong maatim.

imulat ang mata
wag magpadala sa likaw ng bituka
paliyabin ang apoy na malapit nang maupos
ipaglaban kung ano ang tama
gumising ka na iha.

di pa ba sapat ang iyong narinig?
di pa ba sapat ang mga tisod na muntikan nang magpabagsak sayo?
di pa ba sapat ang mga muntikan na?

tama na.
imulat mo na'ng yong mga mata
oras na para makita nila
kung ano ba talaga ang meron ka

at ang nagliliyab na apoy na handa mong ipasa sa iba.

----
1 Thessalonians 5:19 - "Do not put out the Spirit's fire;"

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 - "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize"

a reminder to me that there is always...and always will be room for improvement hope this will help you as well:

LINK to the post itself

gara.magara.gara

nakaka-excite

nakaka-kilig

nakaka-tuwa

nakaka-loka

nakaka-inis

nakaka-frustrate

nakaka-ilang

nakaka-hiya

nakaka-pagtataka

...

mas gusto ko pang manood ng alon sa dalampasigan

kesa tiisin ang pagobserba ng damdamin ko at ng mga kilos mo

sana tayo nalang ang bumubuo sa dagat at dalampasigan

edi boracay na sana ang nabuo (HAHAH!)

kesa naman ganito...

parang di mawaring tubig-baha

na puro putik

at malabo ang kulay

sa sobrang labo di mo na makita paa mo...

o Dyos ko po!

patawarin Nyo ako!

wala nang ibang bumabagabag sa isip ko,

kundi ang taong ito!

Kung pwede lang, kunin Nyo na ako! 

kesa naman pagdusahan ko pa ang suspense nito.

waaaaaaaaaaaah~

enjoyin ko raw, sabi nila...

ineenjoy ko naman...

kaso...ewan.

ang labo talaga eh.

mabuti pa yung ulam nya...malinaw na masarap.

hay. 

tama na. tama na ang tula.

tama na ang mga laro sa salita

mga mali-maling tula, na wala namang kahihinatnan..

wag nang pilitin ang wala naman

wag nang awayin ang hangin

at hayaang umihip nalang ang matamis nitong mga bulong

sa tuwing makakapiling sa hapon.

babae

I.
minsan...
sya'y dadaan sa harap mo
at parang may dumaang anghel

minsan,
sya'y dadaan sa harap mo
at parang may ihip lang ng hangin na lumipas

minsan,
parang isang bituing maliwanag
na nagbibigay ligaya sa lahat

minsan,
parang isang makulimlim na ulap
na parang sakuna ang darating

minsan,
napakalinaw nyang kausap
at parang mga salita ni solomon ang naririnig

minsan,
parang ipu-ipo
na hindi mo mawari kung ano ba talaga

minsan lang naman.
bawat araw.

II.
sa labas,
puno sya ng ngiti
sa bawat kumpas ng kanyang balakang
malalaman mo'ng malakas ang kumpyansa sa sarili
ang tindig nya'y
parang kaya nya ang modernong mundo sa balikat nya
ang tawa nya'y nagbibigay ng saya
ang mga lambing nya'y nagbibigay kapayaapan sa malungkot

pero...
sa kailaliman ng puso nya'y
may mga tanong, na sana'y nasasagot
pero di nya pwede'ng itanong
sambitin, o ipahiwatig man,

dahil para maging isang tunay na babae
mas magandang di ipinapakita ang lahat ng dapat makita
sa loob ng puso nya
lalo na sa taong ninanais nito...

III.
maganda ako
-napapansin mo kaya?
masayahin ako
-natutuwa ka rin kaya?
kapag kumakanta ako
-nahuhumaling ka ba?
sa bawat araw na lumilipas
-naaagaw ko ba ang atensyon mo?
sa bawat pagtawa ko
-napapatibok ko ba ang puso mo?
sa bawat ngiti
-napapatigil ka ba?

nais ko lang naman na malaman
kung may nakakapansin ba
at kung ikaw yung nakakapansin.

sana ikaw ang nakakapansin.



kung sino ka man,
na nilaan ng Dyos para sakin.


IV.
ang babae ay babae
ano pa ba ang masasabi mo dun?

ala-una ng umaga

sa bawat araw...
na nakalipas...
unti-unti nang kumukupas...
parang mga pinaglumaang pantalon,
sapatos, medyas at panyo...
na dati'y punung puno ng kulay...
ngayo'y pawang pumupusyaw...

bibitawan ko na.
pakakawalan ko na

at sa pagpikit ng aking mga mata,
nakita ko'ng lumipad na parang isang batalyong paru-paro
o kung ano man...
ang mga mala-isip batang damdamin

na nilaan ko para sayo.


unti unti...
palayo ng palayo...

sila'y lumipad at dala ng hangin...


     hanggang



                      sa....







                               tuluyan



                                                                     nang

naglaho.

 - - -

*

ayun. ok na ako.

yey! haha!