at night they resound
the roars of each wave
racing to their senseless deaths
upon the craggy rocks along the edge
like the pride in my heart
the anger that drives it to madness
the sorrow it becomes as it turns into foam
a heart with no rest
lost at sea
faraway...from any sign of life
distant from the calls of above
i resound the face and voice of the devil that was me
the sullen demeanor,
the angry composure
the eyes that would reflect the very darkest depths of what was once me
resurfacing, surging, desiring for blood
my own blood.
my own death...
it calls...
where's the light that would guide me through?
I feel so close yet far away.
Lost...but right in place.
spinning in circles I am...
creating a vortex, pulling me in...deeper and deeper
into the depths of the dark unknown
--- A narraive of sorts~ ---
All because of a book I'm suddenly feeling like a useless piece of garbage. I'm quite surprised really. It's been a while since I feel so pissed off over something so small. But I really still have issues with the strict regimen of religion -- even if what I believe in should not even be considered a religion in the first place...you think that Christians have a steady life? No. Satan hates us for one, you really think he'd sit around and rest with him knowing his enemy is out and about being productive? Sheesh. Second, it's a relationship...and it's not always that we feel mushy and lovey dovey with our loved ones. Especially if you have a borderline cynical pessimist/idealistic optimist for a brain. Ugh.
I love God really...but gee...do I really end up like such a worthless asshole for forgetting to bring up a book from the basement? Really? Seriously? And here I thought we shouldn't be bound by strict religious practices or whatever just to prove our faith. I'm really confused now.
And thus...He replies -_-
22 But Samuel replied:
“Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
he has rejected you as king.” - 1 Samuel 15:22-23 (Emphasis mine)
as much as in obeying the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
he has rejected you as king.” - 1 Samuel 15:22-23 (Emphasis mine)
20 “Do not be afraid,” Samuel replied. “You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 21 Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless. 22 For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own. 23 As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right. 24 But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. 25 Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will be swept away.” - 1 Samuel 12: 20-25
I give up. I have a feeling I'd lose to this conversation so I'm stopping. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
anyway just ignore this part...it's a personal thing. you might mistake this as something else...so please...just dont. haha. read the poem and move on.
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