Oh look! A Post!!!

korni ko. makuryente na sana ako ng gumana naman brain cells ko. hahaha. I gots this photo somewhere in google images.

[AUGUST 27]
I'm amazed I even managed to NOT wait a month before updating anything. Tumblr has ruined my attention span...srsly.

So...hello.

I'm a little proud. Little. Chos. I'm proud to say I'm sorta, kinda..maybe getting things in my life together now.

[EDIT/UPDATE:]
Apparently not...since I just said all those stuff because I finished a sketchbook. Right now, as I update this post...which is September 14, my life is still a mess, I'm unemployed, emotionally unstable still and just...lost.

That's it. Lost.

I have nothing else to add to that.

Here are some of the stuff I made the past few days I was gone. All of them are in tumblr. I got eaten alive by that place. Blogspot...save me...I need this.

AUGUST:

SEPTEMBER so far:

Well...thank God for SnK. It somehow got me out of a rut. @___@ Haha! Yaaay.

Sepia Memories

Studies part deux

I'm narrowing down my options...sorta. Well to be honest, Basil's face never did change from the original design since his 2010 sketch versions. (I'll upload those some other time, eheh!) It's really mostly Serafina who's gone through a make-over. :)

A little fun fact, Fina's a teacher...Basil's an architect.

Anyway the style will eventually grow simpler. When I have more time, which I will have once I fix my time management issues tomorrow!, I'll go back to the traditional drawing board to get more feel to the whole thing. Guuuh I'm really pumped up for this, I love these characters more and more each day...

 ³⁰     Then I was constantly at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
    rejoicing always in his presence,
³¹   rejoicing in his whole world
    and delighting in mankind. -Proverbs 8

I feel pretty much like that! Ahah! -giddy- Anyway, it's 2am...I should get some sleepin'.

I poured out my heart and now I'm falling

around 2 hours worth of doodling. i've gone rusty :| boo

So...I just wanted to post my progress. Right now I'm just collecting some references and trying to get the feel/vibe of the entire thing. Eventually the style will probably get simpler so as to fit into my tight schedule -- since something of this level of realism will require me to not make simple tonal shading in the final output of the comic. Ahaah...

I really needed this. It's personally funny for me that I didn't really feel much for this story at first, but thanks to a good friend of mine, somehow he helped me gain some confidence to actually push through. Despite the doubts creeping in earlier this day...somehow doodling them out tonight has helped me love it all the more that, if I don't finish this around July - September, the failure will determine how much of a loser I am. LOL

I'm in Shizuku mode right now!!! Gaaaahhhh!!! CONCRETE ROOOOAAAADSSS~

Hello July.

Gosh it's been so long. :|

I've been in a very long slump, obviously. Somehow blogging has been intimidating for me these days. I'm not doing it for the joy of it anymore but rather to please people and all that. Not to mention how preoccupied I've been with work. So much so that it keeps me from my personal works, that when I am free...a tidal wave of ideas come crashing into my mind I just freeze. It's awful.

But at least now I sorta have a gameplan. Because I can't pass up another month not making anything worth showing. So here are a few things I've been busy with...plus some extra fun stuff I managed to get done at work:

Some works I did from April to July...the stuff I forgot to post. LAWL.

Aaaand some more recent work:

Yep, I'm doing 3D now...aha! But it's not maya...just this cool program that's mostly for matte painters called VUE. It's pretty great considering how less technical it is, it's the perfect program for me in my opinion since it's that wonderful mix of techy/artsy where I don't really have to fuss much about and let my brain bleed from so much technological terms.

To end this update, I want to inform you, my dear blogfriends...that I'm now seriously bent on working on a comic by the end of the month! I'm pretty excited myself! Wheeee, here's the first artwork for said "SecretProject_01":

Serafine

She's a character that's been playing in my head for 3 years now. I'm just so glad to finally start on it. I have a lot of 3 year old ideas actually. Hehe, I guess 2010 was my inspired year after such a long dry spell. Hm, now that I think of it...it's only recently that I managed to come up with another personal story! I guess my Muse visits me once every three years. Haha.

Anyway, here's a little study notes on the drawing

...for this painting I kind of wanted to give off the vibe of seeing her from a balcony or the second floor of a restaurant, library, hallway etc. I personally like those “stolen" angled shots of people.
Also I was trying this effect in painting where only a part of the subject is focused while the rest is kind of blurred out — without using the blur tool nor gaussian blur effect. Still poring through Sir Gurney’s book ‘Color and Light’ :)

I don't know if I've mentioned this on my previous post, but I'm currently frequenting tumblr these days since I'm sketching more often than doing anything serious with my life. But expect something great this July. I'll make sure not to disappoint! Wooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Tagalog naman para maiba.

OCD project. Hehe. OCD Mondays na sya ngayon. Nainspire lang ako dun sa post ni Kuya Robx

http://thecreativedork.com/2013/05/8338/snapshots-doodles-and-dumplings/

Nakakatuwa lang na nafeature na ang mukha ko sa blog ng iba. Wahehey! There's always a first for everything...nakakatuwa lang na yung buong April ko nafeature na ako sa iba't ibang paraan. Haylavet.

Kaso ayun...umm...well wala ako sa mood talaga today. Pero may mga drawings ako'ng hindi napost dito nung April kasi ewan ko...tanga lang.

Heto na:

Ayun. Wala lang. Nagtambak lang. hahaha. Karamihan naman dito nasa Tumblr ko narin. Bleh. Dapat talaga ayusin ko na mga blogs ko. Di ko na alam kung saan ilalagay ang alin. Maryosep. Aayusin ko to, wag kayo mag-alala. Waaaah.

In the Shadows

"Oh my god what a slut."

"I know, I heard that she even stole Andre from Lea during that overnight party last week..."

"What the f..." 

The audible whispers went on for a long while. As such all gossip-mongers do when they have the hottest news from someone who knows someone, who got it from someone's cousin's sister, who slept with this guy in band camp. Crazy, I know...but such is the truth of life sometimes.

It's like shit to flies, if you would be so kind to pardon my french.

What do they know anyway? They think they're so different from me -- all because they never experienced what I experienced. I bet some of them are actually jealous because I can do something about my assets. Fuck them.....fuck them all.

Just a few steps from the stairs, the subject of the day was thinking all possible words of obscenities to describe these so called "young women of stature" in this prestigious academe. A smug smirk crawling across her face as she indulges herself at the new descriptions they have of her, enjoying and hating it at the same time.

 

Though she may deny it, she is hurting inside as every sharp word kept flying down her heart like arrows. But what can you do when you find love in the wrong places right? It's not like she can't help it if she believes every single thing a man says to her. They all look so sincere, so kind...like every word from their mouths flow like honey. And some are even so clever as to match it with actions for a couple of months. It's not like everything is my fault here. Why am I taking all the bad credit then? Assholes.

Then again, she can't really blame them, she's starting to give up on it and just let go and follow the flow of things. In other countries, after all, this is nothing...almost like going out for groceries kind of normal...right?

Right? 

But the only reply she gets is the next track in her iPhone

I need someone, a person to talk to
Someone who'd care to love
Could it be you
Could it be you
Situation gets rough
Then I start to panic
It's not enough
It's just a habit
Hey kid you're sick
Darling this is it
You can all just kiss off into the air
Behind my back I can see them stare
They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind
They'll hurt me bad they do it all the time
Yeah yeah, they do it all the time
I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record
Oh yeah well don't get so distressed
Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed
I take one one one 'cause you left me
And two two two for my family
And 3 3 3 for my heartache
And 4 4 4 for my headaches
And 5 5 5 for my lonely
And 6 6 6 for my sorrow
And 7 7 7 for no tomorrow
And 8 8 8 I forget what 8 was for
And 9 9 9 for a lost god
And 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything

Right.

======

Hi guys! So it's been a while --- again! Haha! Here's a little bit of Vivi's story. I want to think that this song is the reason why Essa and her became close. I still don't know how they will know each other's 'lovelife music' but hey, let's just keep on churning out ideas right?

I don't know why I keep working on their background stories more than their present lives. It's kind of annoying since this tends to spoil so much of the story when I don't want that :/ But when I think of their present, I just go blank. 

Completely blank. :|

Anyway I hope you guys like~ :) Enjoy!

Dark Purple

 I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell you on yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you

"What in the world are you singing?" Sid looked up from his book, seeing Essa dancing her silly dance around the living room.

"Bruises," she replied, huffing and puffing. "By Chairlift. I heard it on TV while watching some lifestyle show on TLC."

"...Ohhhh...kay...." Sid just raised an eyebrow and smirked a little, then went back to reading.

You-ooo
For you-ooo
So black and blue-oooo
For you-ooo etc

"Oh god, she's on a roll today folks," he winces and curls up on the sofa, burying himself under the pillows to muffle out her voice.

"Whaaat?" Essa stops and slumps on the floor, breathless from all the silly dancing, "It's a good song!"

"Not when you sing it!"

"Says Simon Cowell!"

Then a stray pillow flies to his face. Followed by fits of laughter. The pillow fight lasted around 15 minutes, because they're aging twenty-somethings. And once they got all the laughter out of their system, Sid had to ask...

"So who's Chairlift?"

"Just this band who sang the story of my life." She grabbed her laptop and played the youtube song, letting him read the lyrics on the description. At first Sid was just nodding to the beat, "Hey, they're pretty nice..."

Until, as if on cue, he started to sing this part of the song,

 I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruisy knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruisy knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blue

he looked up, smiling at Essa and he paused when she was staring at him with an expression of awe...or something to that effect.

Awkward.

"What?"

Essa just blushed, looked down and muttered, "Nothing," I just never expected you to sing that part...because I wished you'd sing it back to me, and you doing this is just weird -- but that was just in her mind so she blurted out, a bit embarrassed I might add: "Just finish the song!"

And so they did.



Been a while since I posted something! Sorry guys!!! Anyway, here's another tiny bit of Essa and Sid, in a much later year...Vivi was around with them at this point...but I still don't know how her role should play out...anyway I hope you guys like. :)

So I forgot to tell you some news

yep.

I OFFICIALLY HAVE ILLUSTRATED A BOOK! MY FIRST BABIES. FIVE OF THEM. I HAVE QUINTIPLETS!!!! Hahahaha! Ahhhhh~

Yeah it's actually a one-week-late news for blogspot...since I've been raving about it this Wednesday when I got home and found the package on our dining table. Guuuuh. Awesome day is awesome.

Looking at this picture still makes me shake my head slowly in disbelief and awe...hahaha.

Lots of blessings are happening this month and it's just the first week! I can't wait for what else are in store in the future. Man.......meeeeeyyyyynnn.

Anywhooo...I'm starting a new project over at tumblr, cheggit out! I'll be uploading the first three over here just for fun. :)

Sleeping In

"Hey," she whispered in the dimness of the early morning. Slowly crawling up next to Sid as he stirred from his light sleep.

"Oh, hello, what's up?"

"I  can't sleep." Essa mumbled in the darkness, with a tone of embarrassment and uncertainty in her voice. Sid just smiled and scooted over to give her room to lie down, patting the space next to him, "Then I'll keep you company."

Essa hesitated for a bit, and Sid just waited. There was a long pause.

After what seemed like forever to her, Sid finally broke the silence, "What? Don't fool yourself, I ain't doing anything to you. So come over and curl up next to me."

She obliged and hid under the covers with him. Her heart was beating so fast inside her, and for a moment she wanted to change her mind and leave, but just like an older brother or a father (or a good close friend) would, he pulled her close and held her as if to calm her down. She finally managed to say quietly, "I've always wanted to know what it felt like..."

"Hm?"

"To sleep next to a guy."

"You haven't before?"

"No...you know me. I don't trust anyone to just do this. I feel weird and iffy and stuff."

"Didn't you do this with your ex before?"

"Yeah but...come on, she's another story. I was....you know."

"Emotionally confused, yes." he chuckled, still couldn't believe that his friend slept with a girl for almost 3 years.

There was another silence, Essa was too nervous, Sid was getting sleepy. But he just had to ask. 

"Hmm..Well? How is it then? With me?"

Essa paused for a bit, blushing and thinking, "Well..." she was actually really happy. At peace, and it's way better than what she dreamed of. "it's... okay...different...I like it." she shrugged.

"Hmm. Good." You can tell he was drifting back to sleep. Essa can feel his chest gently rise and fall as his breath finds a slow sleepy pace.

"Sid?"

"Yes?"

"If we're on our 40s and we're still not married to someone else, can I be your wife instead?"

He chuckled, "Sure, I'd love that...but why?"

"So we can keep each other company like this when we're old."

"Hmm...well I think we can always do this until that time comes. Or when we are old," he turned and kissed her on the forehead. "For now, sleep is among us. Good night, kid."

"Night...and thank you." She snuggled closer and tried to stay up a bit, but comfort has its powerful ways to put the anxious at ease.

And they slept soundly until the alarm went off the next day. Where reality was waiting for them once more.

====

 Just trying out something. Haha! This is Essa and Sid during their last days in college. It was on an outing and she decided to take that chance and see what it's like. It's actually based off on a dream of mine. :)

Hope you guys like~

Yellow Dawn

Means waking up at 1 in the afternoon on a Saturday for me. Hahaha.

Day 23

Sorry I've been gone for a bit, folks. Lots of things are happening with my life and I guess I just needed some time to think things through...and taking care of blogs became more of a chore rather than something I enjoy.  Not to mention that now I'm doing this daily project alone kinda just...doesn't help with my waning excitement for the whole thing. (Yeah, my partner ditched me right when March arrived actually...so...yeahp. Been doin' it solo this whole month. LOL. So I hope you understand why I was gone for a week.)

But on other news I am pretty excited with the wonderful opportunities I'm having lately. I need to gather ideas within the week so I can show a portfolio to a potential gallery exhibit opportunity in the biggest mall in my country. (I hope I get a slot!!! Aaaahhh) And somehow...God is good to my artistic life. Somehow it feels like he's slowly nudging me to the spotlight without me knowing too much of what exactly is ahead. Haha. It's thrilling and...overwhelming to some degree...but I don't want to expect too much like I did before.

I'm just really happy that people like my work for all its worth. :) And I thank you for being there, despite the silence. All of you. For the support and stuff. Hehe

Aside from that I just need to keep up with the other projects I have in my plate...the comic, the other story blog, that upcoming book I think I'm working with a friend....and the promised illustrations I told people they'd have last year. Blergh.

Enough of the rambling! More arting!

Day 20 -- see? i wasn't that lazy...I made this! xP

Oh, Alfie~

So I got inspired by Kail's recent blogpost and decided to learn things while enjoying them.

It was really mindblowing how handsome De Niro was....like......gob...yes...fudge...

Anyway! Here's my take...only it's Jude Law

Day 14

I'm actually using his face as reference for Kit, one of my characters for the story I'm developing with Eveth. It's just supposed to be a sketch but his handsomeness got me carried away as can be seen in this fail attempt to paint him. But I must say that I'm really excited where this story is going...will give you updates soon! :) On thumbnail view, Jude looks weird...but oh well. Good for a first try? Haha...hah..

Day 15

So um....yeah. This happened afterward. If there was a story to be told here...it'll be probably how Jude Law got burned into my brain.

The first movie I saw of Jude was Alfie. That pretty much should help you understand the turn of events here. In a way, he's one of those people who opened up my eyes and took my innocence in a manner that gave me mixed feelings about sex, relationships and all that. He's like that handsome guy you have a crush on that stole your first kiss and then suddenly left you hanging. But you still love him for it in your own masochistic way. Which pretty much equals to you're hoping he'd take more than just the kiss and just keep on letting him take you even if it just really makes you feel worse in the end kind of crap. HAHAHAHA. Am I making myself clear here? I think I'm just having late night "slurs and post-heartbreak-from-self-imposed-loneliness-mindset" gabbing.

It's quite disturbing that my name is quite similar with a word that is the present participle of a verb that pertains to "Talking, typically at length, about trivial matters." - google search dictionary

Aaaaanyway. Yeah. Alfie. That guy who breaks hearts. Beware. He's just one of many. Ohohoho.

Glitchy

Day 10

There are just those days where you suddenly forget who you are and you feel like a fraud. Afraid to get caught any minute and be shot dead. Alone. Dumped in the middle of the woods. With not much people noticing you were gone until months have passed and completely forgotten.

Yep. The scary part being you not getting over said emotions.

Self portrait really.

I honestly can't sleep right now. 

Book Hangovers

Are the best feeling ever. It's that kind of loneliness/emptiness/confusion/middle-of-nowhere feelings that I prefer rather than the ones you get from bad things happening in your life. Unless of course...you read a horrible book with a horrible ending because horrible writers want you to feel like crap. But yeah. This is a hangover I like. On moderation of course...because I'm not sure I'd be able to function properly if I get them every day...[insert nervous, slightly maniacal laughter here]

So what's the book that got me having another hangover you might ask?

Today it's Nick Hornby's High Fidelity.  And the doodle for today just pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole thing.

Day 9

I have varying reactions whenever I get book hangovers, but today I have the 'tears-of-epiphany-joy' kind.  Mostly because it's that kind of book I want the story I'm working on to be like. That, and because I relate to most of the stuff Rob Fleming was talking about or because I learn a lot from his 'man's-POV' narration of things. I'm sure not all guys think this way, probably, but it gave me answers I keep wondering about. And it's just beautiful and light and wise and funny that I even loved it's Hollywood adaptation. Both are just so perfect. And I could go on and on about this but I'd rather not wear you down with my ramblings today. I just feel really...fuzzy. Haha!

Speaking of eternity and emotions it's quite ironic that yesterday this is what I pretty much feel like:

Day 8

Yep. I got the "kind of loneliness/emptiness/confusion/middle-of-nowhere feelings you get from bad things happening in your life" sort yesterday. It's pretty funny too that it fell on the 8th day which pretty much looks like the Mobius Strip or the infinity symbol sideways. Talk about forever alone.

But it's pathetic that this is because of a very shallow useless reason that I'd rather just forget. Haha. Life is still good...so yeah...get over it and all that right? I really should stop wallowing in my pool of sadness and insecurity and do things. Just like Rob...only I guess I  don't need to wait for someone to rescue me and help me change my life for the better, since I think I'm capable of making that choice. I'm just lazy to do so. :/

Oh well!