I was planning on whining about my life for the past couple of months I've been away but let's not do that shall we? Ehehe! Lots of stuff to do, so little time. Why waste most of that little time whining and complaining, right? I'll just keep those for myself.
So what's happened? Where have I been to?
Work. Plus I'm having Carpal Tunnel Syndrom fears. So I decided to start training my left hand to be as good as my right hand. Just in case something happens...ya know?
It got me depressed to be honest. But I find fears a good thing. It keeps you on your toes and helps you take a step back and make plans. Or appreciate what you have right now...that sort of thing. You always need a negative to produce some positives. I guess this is God's way of calling my attention to stop being such a whiny little baby and just work and see that life is still okay and be thankful for it instead.
For six...seven days now, I've been doing daily sketches to train my left at getting better. It's fun! It's like taking a refresher course at some basics that you totally forgot and then after 17 years, you're seeing everything in a new light. It was awkward at first, I honestly felt like a kid trying to learn how to hold a pen. But it helped me love myself even more for some reason. Haha, weird right?
I guess it's more of, we tend to pressure ourselves for perfection, for excellence like how tiger moms are with their trophy kids. But when we realize that being harsh to someone who's still trying to stand on their own is actually not helping, we become more patient and gentle with them, understanding their situation and encouraging them to do their best.
It's a liberating feeling. To enjoy myself again while drawing. It's been so long, the corporate world has made me a hard person. Angry and bitter all the time, gasping and grasping for air, desperate to just find an escape.
I still have no idea what to do at the moment. Sometimes I'm losing the point of why I even pursued this career. I don't have anything to say anymore. But maybe it's more of being overworked anyway.
I'll post again soon when I have a much more clearer idea of what I'm to do with things.
If I can make a wish that can be granted right now...well I'd seriously wish for the opportunity to just draw like a possessed artist by his muse, relentlessly producing beautiful art until his dying breath. I think life is not wasted pursuing things that they love doing. And I really feel like I'm just wasting my time not doing the things I really give a frack about -- all because I need money to survive my daily life.
Choices, choices. Always with the choices.
Oh well! I hope someday I can show you nice things.
Have a nice day wherever you are. :)
