You're Able to Look Back for a Reason

May 26, 2007

4 years and 7 months ago
You sent me off with a promise
Represented by a fresh blossom
Dusted with the dews of the morning
Glistening in the pale 7am light
Though I stumbled and fell throughout the years
I manage to stand up and walk on
Because of this lovely orchid
I waited for all summer to bloom
Only made possible by the power of love and grace...


I keep looking back,
My sense of joy made anew
Refreshed by a new sense of understanding
Strengthened by grace
Overwhelmed by a love that surpasses everything.

:)

Gaya nga ng sabi ni Eugene Domingo sa isang pelikula nya na kasama si Kristine Hermosa ata at Piolo Pascual (nakalimutan ko title e basta cheesy): 'God is good...All the tiiiime~'

Colossians 3:22-25
Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and with reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.

choices

a little storyboard attempt i did back in May.

honestly it just fits the mood of how I feel right now.

Funny...

Now that I think about it...since I've drawn that like...6 months ago or so...it must only mean that I've felt that way 6 months ago or so.

I have been feeling that way for half a year now. And that should really disturb me now more than ever.

To feel that way over something means something...right?


I'm miserable to my very core.


A choice must be made.

Before I completely die.

Oh the things we do for life.

everything's been said and done

'pitter patter'

the rain drops said.
I listened to their words as I lay down to my makeshift bed.
This is a memory I say. A dream perhaps.

It was always during rainy cold nights that I remember being lost.
Where and when everything's been said and done.
Where and when I'm not truly myself.

But you accepted me wholly...in hopes to fill the hole in your heart.
Much as I wished that you could fill mine.
And instantly I was falling.

This is for you, my estranged lover.
And this is the apology that I hope would reach yonder.
Though I beg to differ...

For we met as strangers...
And we sadly part the same.

old drawing that fits the mood...now that i think of it...i think i'm stuck in a miserable cycle.
something's wrong with me. D:

---

Inspiration

http://nicholaskole.blogspot.com/2011/11/on-god-art-and-dragons.html

Not much to say because he's practically said it all without the dark, depressing tone i tend to put into my words when I write things. Haha! I believe it's worth sharing...and very encouraging for every artist out there stuck in a rut.

Sometimes it's just going back to the basic truth that'll make you realize things in a much much more profound way. :)

OJT junk.

Some work I did for my On the Job Training class back when I was still in college. Bad memories really, but these are the works I'm most fond of during those days.

Aside from that, since I got into some depressing fits last year around the same period as now (August to November)...I ended up doing some risky things that almost cost me my college degree. But God is good always, and he provided me with a way out from the graves I dug for myself. And here's one of the blessings that saved my college life:

Commission/Sideline gigs that a college friend offered me to do. I was so depressed then, and I was quiet-emo-ishly making sad, dark illustrations with serious linework in one classroom, and that college friend of mine saw me drawing. He gasped, picked up the paper I was working on and asked his friend immediately if I could draw some designs for their t-shirt print business. He was willing to pay me in advance for the whole shebang. And let me tell you, that payment...though i never got the second half... saved my sad butt from the registration office fee. Hahaha. Here's their awesome Facebook Page.

And here's some comic thing I did for another class. History I think...I colored it traditionally with watercolors but I never got the chance to get them back again...all I have are the roughs. So here they are. I think it's about Rizal...an artwork dedicated to anything about him...or basically describes him in a way...haha oh well...enough talk more show:

That's all for now. It's just fun to reminisce sometimes. Plus the fact that I really dont have anything to post as of late....so...yeah. Heheh. I hope you liked them as much as I am laughing at them now and how a year has already passed. It feels freaky sometimes, especially when you think about how you were doing the things you were doing just over a year ago.

If ever there was anything I'm futzing about lately...then this is probably it:

drawing couples. hahaha!

I just laughed at one of Mommy Dionisia's dresses. I swear it's a lobster dress!

Last Night..Last Year

Last Night Last Year
I was mourning over lost coffee
The sweet aroma
The strength of the taste
The power of the loss

Last Night Last Year
My drawing was about a man
Formed in my dreams
Conversing with me from far away
Promising me empty words of love

Last Night Last Year
My song was Something About Us
Because we both loved Daft Punk so much
Because you refuse to communicate with me
And that was my way of expressing how I feel


But that was all Last Night Last Year
Tonight, This Year
I'm mourning over other things
Something far more grave than feelings
Far more bitter than coffee
And that is a life...not well spent.

----

Haha...yeah I just suddenly remembered what happened this November around last year...I was moping over a lost relationship with some guy. Funny how I feel down on the same dates as before -- thankfully it's not the same situation though.

Still just quite upset with how I'm dealing with my creative life. I'm in the 'downhill' phase of my relationship with art...hopefully we manage to work things out once more.

A song that coincidentally fits the mood of my drawing

amor vincit omnia!

Happy 13

13

Years of being with You
Growing up with You
Learning with You
Living with You

Life has not been a smooth path
But that's the point of the narrow road
Where we die in ourselves
And live anew in the Spirit

Thirteen years has it been
And I still do not regret
The day I decided to be Yours
Thirteen years ago...and forever more.

---
Instead of moping around....because I couldn't work on things properly these days, I suddenly remembered my Spiritual Birthday -- which is today! Hahaha!

My spirit's a frickin teen-ager. Hahaha. I find it amusing. I'd love to celebrate it with a lovely slice of Shepherd's Pie in honor of the love I share with the Shepherd of my life. Hahaha! sorry for the puns! XD but yeah...I don't have an oven to make the pie...so just a metaphorical drawing will do. :) cheers!

I thank my God every time I remember you, always praying with joy for all of you. I thank God for the help you gave me while I preached the Good News—help you gave from the first day you believed until now. God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.

  And I know that I am right to think like this about all of you, because I have you in my heart. All of you share in God's grace with me while I am in prison and while I am defending and proving the truth of the Good News. God knows that I want to see you very much, because I love all of you with the love of Christ Jesus.

  This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more; that you will have knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between good and bad and will choose the good; that you will be pure and without wrong for the coming of Christ; that you will be filled with the good things produced in your life by Christ to bring glory and praise to God. - Philippians 1:3-11 (NCV)

This is what I got from my devotionals for today. Thanks Paul. Haha! To God be the glory indeed. :)

Also...a song~ maybe I'll make a related illustration of this tomorrow once I get it done tonight. wooo!

I can’t win, I can’t reign
I will never win this game
I am lost, I am vain
I will never be the same
I won’t run, I won’t fly
I will never make it by
I can’t rest, I can’t fight
I can’t quit now
This can’t be right
I can’t take one more sleepless night
I won’t soar, I won’t climb
If you’re not here, I’m paralyzed
I can’t look, I’m so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without You~