The Silence in Our Minds

There are times my mind goes blank. In a sense that it's not empty, but more of the thoughts are just so many it turns into a giant bundle of nothing....like the static on an old TV. There's a lot of black, grey and whites going on...but despite all this chaos, it's all nothing. And you can't focus. Because it's a noise full of nothing.

I'd like to think that I space out not because of nothing, but because the entire universe suddenly decided to drop inside my head and stay there for a while. Filling me up with its chaos. And it's so big and great that all I can do is nothing. It's a more beautiful picture if I look at it this way at least.

My friends do it often, suddenly being quiet and all I mean, and I'd like to think that maybe at that time...the universe dropped by on them too. And I let them be for a while.

But sometimes I get afraid of this vast nothingness. You journey out too far and you'll disappear, hidden away along with all those jumpy black, white and grey dots. Unrecognizable. Unheard. Gone.


So I talk. Just to end the awkward silence that "nothing" has imposed on most of us.The universe is nice, but it gets unsettling and annoying when it goes longer. And I don't want to lose myself in that. So much so that I don't want my quiet friends to be the same. Just to keep them all close, because the loneliness suddenly scared the life out of me.

I wonder sometimes how eternity feels about that. How God feels.

Maybe that's why he created us, so we can share on that fear. So we can value what we have. So that the noise will be bearable. - Essa Lamdagan

 Haha. Just tidbit of how Essa thinks. I'm trying to cook up a story and I don't know where to start. So many thoughts going in my head, how to work out the flow of chapters. How the characters all work out and stuff. The story means a lot to me...so much that I'm scared sometimes to put them on paper. Like my writing and words won't do them justice.

But they've been bothering me since last year. And I guess they want to go out. So here I am, trying to crawl along with them and share them to the world. I'll probably redo the sketch I did for Essa on that drawing above. It just looks so...bleh. Haha. But I hope you like it. Despite its ambiguity. Meh. Ewan.

Anyway....I'm also doing this daily drawing thing with a lovely someone. I hope we get to complete this 30-day-challenge of drawing anything everyday.

Day 1

I should make my sketchbook looking more like this than my usual garbage of scribbles. Haha!