Toasty Weekend

Day 28

Day 29

It's actually not that hot...when you're in front of the fan.

Anyway. Yeah. Kit and Naira kissing! FTW.

DOG SNACK AWESOME

So before my drawings. Let's put awesome first:



DOG SNACK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! LOVE!

And now we go to how Gabi arts during a dry spell:

Day 25

When the past haunts you...cry and PUNCH IT IN THE FACE! Well....that's what Naira would do.

Day 26

Or get a haircut...like me! Yeah I look like a boy. A weird looking boyish girl. :|

Day 27

Then mope about your purpose in life. Hahahaha.

That is how you art with an art block! Vomit it out like poison.

Run Treadmills

are better than chasing pavements.


Then again, is jogging all that bad? I think not.

Day 24

I was supposed to make a long, whiny post about what to do with my life. All the dreams I want to do. And all that existentialist-twentysomething-whine-bitch-moan-rant. And then I realized....doing that will just get me nowhere. I've been doing that for two years. By writing that again would just make my blog 'overhaul' a pointless useless effort.

Like chasing invisible guys on endless pavements.


HOHYEHEHEHHSS...CHAROT. DRAMA ANG PEG.

Anyway...let's just let the drawing sit and settle on your mind. Up to you to think of things related (or totally random) to the illustration.

Sleeping In

"Hey," she whispered in the dimness of the early morning. Slowly crawling up next to Sid as he stirred from his light sleep.

"Oh, hello, what's up?"

"I  can't sleep." Essa mumbled in the darkness, with a tone of embarrassment and uncertainty in her voice. Sid just smiled and scooted over to give her room to lie down, patting the space next to him, "Then I'll keep you company."

Essa hesitated for a bit, and Sid just waited. There was a long pause.

After what seemed like forever to her, Sid finally broke the silence, "What? Don't fool yourself, I ain't doing anything to you. So come over and curl up next to me."

She obliged and hid under the covers with him. Her heart was beating so fast inside her, and for a moment she wanted to change her mind and leave, but just like an older brother or a father (or a good close friend) would, he pulled her close and held her as if to calm her down. She finally managed to say quietly, "I've always wanted to know what it felt like..."

"Hm?"

"To sleep next to a guy."

"You haven't before?"

"No...you know me. I don't trust anyone to just do this. I feel weird and iffy and stuff."

"Didn't you do this with your ex before?"

"Yeah but...come on, she's another story. I was....you know."

"Emotionally confused, yes." he chuckled, still couldn't believe that his friend slept with a girl for almost 3 years.

There was another silence, Essa was too nervous, Sid was getting sleepy. But he just had to ask. 

"Hmm..Well? How is it then? With me?"

Essa paused for a bit, blushing and thinking, "Well..." she was actually really happy. At peace, and it's way better than what she dreamed of. "it's... okay...different...I like it." she shrugged.

"Hmm. Good." You can tell he was drifting back to sleep. Essa can feel his chest gently rise and fall as his breath finds a slow sleepy pace.

"Sid?"

"Yes?"

"If we're on our 40s and we're still not married to someone else, can I be your wife instead?"

He chuckled, "Sure, I'd love that...but why?"

"So we can keep each other company like this when we're old."

"Hmm...well I think we can always do this until that time comes. Or when we are old," he turned and kissed her on the forehead. "For now, sleep is among us. Good night, kid."

"Night...and thank you." She snuggled closer and tried to stay up a bit, but comfort has its powerful ways to put the anxious at ease.

And they slept soundly until the alarm went off the next day. Where reality was waiting for them once more.

====

 Just trying out something. Haha! This is Essa and Sid during their last days in college. It was on an outing and she decided to take that chance and see what it's like. It's actually based off on a dream of mine. :)

Hope you guys like~

Yellow Dawn

Means waking up at 1 in the afternoon on a Saturday for me. Hahaha.

Day 23

Sorry I've been gone for a bit, folks. Lots of things are happening with my life and I guess I just needed some time to think things through...and taking care of blogs became more of a chore rather than something I enjoy.  Not to mention that now I'm doing this daily project alone kinda just...doesn't help with my waning excitement for the whole thing. (Yeah, my partner ditched me right when March arrived actually...so...yeahp. Been doin' it solo this whole month. LOL. So I hope you understand why I was gone for a week.)

But on other news I am pretty excited with the wonderful opportunities I'm having lately. I need to gather ideas within the week so I can show a portfolio to a potential gallery exhibit opportunity in the biggest mall in my country. (I hope I get a slot!!! Aaaahhh) And somehow...God is good to my artistic life. Somehow it feels like he's slowly nudging me to the spotlight without me knowing too much of what exactly is ahead. Haha. It's thrilling and...overwhelming to some degree...but I don't want to expect too much like I did before.

I'm just really happy that people like my work for all its worth. :) And I thank you for being there, despite the silence. All of you. For the support and stuff. Hehe

Aside from that I just need to keep up with the other projects I have in my plate...the comic, the other story blog, that upcoming book I think I'm working with a friend....and the promised illustrations I told people they'd have last year. Blergh.

Enough of the rambling! More arting!

Day 20 -- see? i wasn't that lazy...I made this! xP

Give Back What is Due

 Before the update...here's my daily drawing:

Day 16

I drew this around 3am...so it's a bit...weird looking. Hah. ANYWAY! DOWN TO THE GOOD STUFF!


So lots of good things happened this week.

My excitement apparently has made me forget to tell you, my dear blog friends, that the first book I professionally illustrated for has finally come out of the press and will soon hit bookstores!

I still can't believe it at times to be honest. Haha!

Haha! I have a mug shot! Gaaah. I still need time to let this all sink in. I'm getting there, promise.

 But better late than never right?! And there's a lot to be grateful about it, one of it being the lovely surprise that they got to edit the cover after all, placing the finalized version rather than the one I posted earlier this month. [insert girly squeal here]

I'm really ecstatic and grateful, because at first I was told that the chances of it being changed was none. Which somehow broke me down to my last straw and got me into my first experience of a panic attack. It's honestly pretty shallow, especially if you knew the main reason as to what really got me palpitating and crying all curled up on the sofa in the middle of the day last week. [-cough- fear of loneliness -cough-]

But alas! God is great, and I really should give back what is due for all the goodness He's done to my life. So here's something for Him.

Mwah!

One Thing Remains - Jesus Culture

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains
Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me x3
On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains
In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love

Oh, Alfie~

So I got inspired by Kail's recent blogpost and decided to learn things while enjoying them.

It was really mindblowing how handsome De Niro was....like......gob...yes...fudge...

Anyway! Here's my take...only it's Jude Law

Day 14

I'm actually using his face as reference for Kit, one of my characters for the story I'm developing with Eveth. It's just supposed to be a sketch but his handsomeness got me carried away as can be seen in this fail attempt to paint him. But I must say that I'm really excited where this story is going...will give you updates soon! :) On thumbnail view, Jude looks weird...but oh well. Good for a first try? Haha...hah..

Day 15

So um....yeah. This happened afterward. If there was a story to be told here...it'll be probably how Jude Law got burned into my brain.

The first movie I saw of Jude was Alfie. That pretty much should help you understand the turn of events here. In a way, he's one of those people who opened up my eyes and took my innocence in a manner that gave me mixed feelings about sex, relationships and all that. He's like that handsome guy you have a crush on that stole your first kiss and then suddenly left you hanging. But you still love him for it in your own masochistic way. Which pretty much equals to you're hoping he'd take more than just the kiss and just keep on letting him take you even if it just really makes you feel worse in the end kind of crap. HAHAHAHA. Am I making myself clear here? I think I'm just having late night "slurs and post-heartbreak-from-self-imposed-loneliness-mindset" gabbing.

It's quite disturbing that my name is quite similar with a word that is the present participle of a verb that pertains to "Talking, typically at length, about trivial matters." - google search dictionary

Aaaaanyway. Yeah. Alfie. That guy who breaks hearts. Beware. He's just one of many. Ohohoho.

Travelling at Midnight

day1213

Makes me want to cheat on this daily project. Hehehehe.

But no seriously...it's a lot like time traveling, where you're not entirely sure if you should refer to it as day or night. Like...

Kid - Hey mom I'll be late...like later tonight.
Parent - Tomorrow then.
Kid - No just...later. Tonight.
Parent - Yeah, that's already the next day, love.
Kid - But...nevermind.

Hahahaha. See?


I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. @__@ huuuhhh...

Migraine

Day 11

Oo nga pala...hindi na pala tayo, hanggang dito nalang ako~

So I had this crazy attempt on animating while having a bit of a headache. I must say it's a bad...bad bad...bad...bad bad bad idea. So to soothe my aching head, I drew a handsome face instead. Owyeeh....


Nope, didn't work. Still got migraines.

Glitchy

Day 10

There are just those days where you suddenly forget who you are and you feel like a fraud. Afraid to get caught any minute and be shot dead. Alone. Dumped in the middle of the woods. With not much people noticing you were gone until months have passed and completely forgotten.

Yep. The scary part being you not getting over said emotions.

Self portrait really.

I honestly can't sleep right now. 

Book Hangovers

Are the best feeling ever. It's that kind of loneliness/emptiness/confusion/middle-of-nowhere feelings that I prefer rather than the ones you get from bad things happening in your life. Unless of course...you read a horrible book with a horrible ending because horrible writers want you to feel like crap. But yeah. This is a hangover I like. On moderation of course...because I'm not sure I'd be able to function properly if I get them every day...[insert nervous, slightly maniacal laughter here]

So what's the book that got me having another hangover you might ask?

Today it's Nick Hornby's High Fidelity.  And the doodle for today just pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole thing.

Day 9

I have varying reactions whenever I get book hangovers, but today I have the 'tears-of-epiphany-joy' kind.  Mostly because it's that kind of book I want the story I'm working on to be like. That, and because I relate to most of the stuff Rob Fleming was talking about or because I learn a lot from his 'man's-POV' narration of things. I'm sure not all guys think this way, probably, but it gave me answers I keep wondering about. And it's just beautiful and light and wise and funny that I even loved it's Hollywood adaptation. Both are just so perfect. And I could go on and on about this but I'd rather not wear you down with my ramblings today. I just feel really...fuzzy. Haha!

Speaking of eternity and emotions it's quite ironic that yesterday this is what I pretty much feel like:

Day 8

Yep. I got the "kind of loneliness/emptiness/confusion/middle-of-nowhere feelings you get from bad things happening in your life" sort yesterday. It's pretty funny too that it fell on the 8th day which pretty much looks like the Mobius Strip or the infinity symbol sideways. Talk about forever alone.

But it's pathetic that this is because of a very shallow useless reason that I'd rather just forget. Haha. Life is still good...so yeah...get over it and all that right? I really should stop wallowing in my pool of sadness and insecurity and do things. Just like Rob...only I guess I  don't need to wait for someone to rescue me and help me change my life for the better, since I think I'm capable of making that choice. I'm just lazy to do so. :/

Oh well!

Pag Tuesdaaay, namimiss kitaaa~

It's finally coming out~

Just  few more adjustments to go and I officially illustrated a published book...with ISBN and all that jazz. It's like giving birth...only...different. Haha! I'm just really happy right now...it's making me forget about my problems or at least puts my attention somewhere more worthwhile than whatever it was I'm fussing about. I love this feeling...I want more of this. Hah.

Day 6

 Contagious giggles is better shared with friends/family than anybody else in the world. And it was a mistake to look for them on just a specific person when it's not yet the time. What I got right here? This. This is joyful contentment. This is real. - Essa Lamdagan

Inspired by this soundtrack: The Leisure Society - Fight for Everyone

Day 7

Inspired by this soundtrack: Frank Turner - Recovery



Chase that Happy! Yeah!! Though Sid may be this serious, cold and mean-looking guy...he's actually a great friend. He makes sure that Essa subtly realizes that some people are not worth the sadness. And that she should actually base her standards on how her friends treat her rather than on false promises. He's not keen on lecturing, it's either he'd barrage you with sarcastic humor or dance with you when he feels like it. Today was Essa's lucky day I suppose. Good thing that song was playing on the radio!! Hehe!

Breaking Bad

Day 5...

O your lover's gone but you're not alone~

And sometimes you need a fag to keep the stress away.

I'm watching Breaking Bad again. Maybe that's why I'm drawing people with so many smoke and vapors and stuff...lololooool

I Wanna Go to a Live Concert

Hello.

Here's a video pile.

Bombay Bicycle Club Live at Reading Festival:



And some inspiration from Ze~



Which drove me to make my Day 4 something like this:

My vanity helps me feel better when something upsets me. That, and Bombay Bicycle Club going live...gaaaaahh. Not much to post today...pretty swamped with work stuff. Herrderrr~

Also something interesting I found scrawled at the back of the seat before me at the bus:

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans. - Proverbs 16:3

Talk about evandalism...get it? LOL..I suck at puns. Hahaha.

Beef Lasagna

....Just go away. - S.I.D

  So here's the guy of the group! Well one of them at least. Haha! Not much of a talker, yeah. He loves to read and pretty much questions everything that comes to mind. Really sarcastic, sometimes to the point that only he gets his own sarcastic jokes and remarks.  I'm still working on the other characters. So far I only have three that's somewhat fully developed. Hahah. And I think you guys know him more as SDA from my older posts back then. 

In the original story it's just Essa and Sid. I was planning on making them into comic strips until I remembered I'm not so good with just 4 panels to deliver a point or a punchline -_- ... and theeen Vivi suddenly popped into mind. And then I thought, why can't they be this dynamic trio of friends who talk about life and all that stuff 20 somethings are bothered with? Haha...yeah...I don't know yet. 

Soon enough I'll be posting some trial pages up here. It'll probably a weekly (how I wish daily) habit where I'd post a comic page every day. Just to get the steam going and me getting the hang of comic making once more.  But yeah! COMICS! -determined face-

In other news...day 3! Yeah I dunno, I just barfed this one out. Pretty much sums up how I feel today.

Noooo Essa, you're just impatient. Like me. Haha!

Midnight Shadows

Vivi and Vivi? Whuuut? o.o

There comes a point in life, after you've changed everything (and by everything I mean you've let go of your old ways, thrown out the past to forget them)...that a bit of it will haunt you. And sometimes it takes just as much years as the time you spent in that darkness. But you know what? It's just a matter of forgiveness. Acceptance really. That you've been like that...and saying to yourself it's okay, because if one great being has forgiven me for it, so why shouldn't I do the same to myself? Sometimes it's not God or the devil anymore that's the problem...sometimes it's us.  So let go, forgive...and move on already. Life is short. - Vivi Cho

 Trying out some cover studies for the story I'm making. You can see the hint of what I'm planning for the title to be. And yeah, this also gives a hint of what Vivi was like before. I'm still working on it...lots to do lots to do....ugh, I owe other friends some drawings! I really should work on those as well. Blergh! I'm so sorry my dear friends, wherever they may be...please forgive my delays... ;__;

Anyway here's some fun stuff I drew for the project Eveth and I are cooking up:

Those bichizz be rockiinnn~!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY-c-_sZ8LI
^CHECK THE SONG. I love them. It sucks I only discovered of them now. Uuughhh MCS. Yesss.

Oh and also~ Day 2 Which is inspired by another song of MCS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km1susp7haI

I love you
However... You hold me down

You're the echoes of my everything
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night
You're the laziness of afternoon
You're the why I burst and why I bloom
How will I break the news to you?

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! ALL THAT FEEELS!!! NOW CRY!!! CRY WITH ME!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! hahaha. No...I'm not going through break-up. I just really sympathize with songs that easily. :|

The Silence in Our Minds

There are times my mind goes blank. In a sense that it's not empty, but more of the thoughts are just so many it turns into a giant bundle of nothing....like the static on an old TV. There's a lot of black, grey and whites going on...but despite all this chaos, it's all nothing. And you can't focus. Because it's a noise full of nothing.

I'd like to think that I space out not because of nothing, but because the entire universe suddenly decided to drop inside my head and stay there for a while. Filling me up with its chaos. And it's so big and great that all I can do is nothing. It's a more beautiful picture if I look at it this way at least.

My friends do it often, suddenly being quiet and all I mean, and I'd like to think that maybe at that time...the universe dropped by on them too. And I let them be for a while.

But sometimes I get afraid of this vast nothingness. You journey out too far and you'll disappear, hidden away along with all those jumpy black, white and grey dots. Unrecognizable. Unheard. Gone.


So I talk. Just to end the awkward silence that "nothing" has imposed on most of us.The universe is nice, but it gets unsettling and annoying when it goes longer. And I don't want to lose myself in that. So much so that I don't want my quiet friends to be the same. Just to keep them all close, because the loneliness suddenly scared the life out of me.

I wonder sometimes how eternity feels about that. How God feels.

Maybe that's why he created us, so we can share on that fear. So we can value what we have. So that the noise will be bearable. - Essa Lamdagan

 Haha. Just tidbit of how Essa thinks. I'm trying to cook up a story and I don't know where to start. So many thoughts going in my head, how to work out the flow of chapters. How the characters all work out and stuff. The story means a lot to me...so much that I'm scared sometimes to put them on paper. Like my writing and words won't do them justice.

But they've been bothering me since last year. And I guess they want to go out. So here I am, trying to crawl along with them and share them to the world. I'll probably redo the sketch I did for Essa on that drawing above. It just looks so...bleh. Haha. But I hope you like it. Despite its ambiguity. Meh. Ewan.

Anyway....I'm also doing this daily drawing thing with a lovely someone. I hope we get to complete this 30-day-challenge of drawing anything everyday.

Day 1

I should make my sketchbook looking more like this than my usual garbage of scribbles. Haha!