understanding how celebrities feel

One sunny Sunday lunchdate with my church friends at KFC...some nursing student dude went up to our table and asked me if he could take a picture with me. It took me off guard and all I can do was say yes. I don't know what happened or why would a guy even want to have a picture taken with me in it...but it's the most flattering, self-confidence boosting thing that has ever happened to my life. Now I know what celebrities feel like. Hahaha. It must be the hair.

Nah, actually it was God's doing. I was ranting to Him the other night about how I just want to know if I'm worth something at all in the attraction/romance aspect of things. In short, I just want to be appreciated by a guy....since that rarely ever happens without me trying. I was never really confident with how I see or carry myself so...yeah...but God just knows what to do to let you know how special you are. :)

In other news! Here's another attempt at comics...this time it's a bit more personal since it's about my views on baptism and such...it's just a rough work of sorts...so maybe you won't get it.

Mark 1:9-13

I drew it on my planner...so it's a bit messed up. LOL. Anyway...yeah that's all for now! :)

open secrets

i dream of you in colors that don't exist...- olivia steele

mmm....will be using this as inspiration for a story..... :)

We Don't Have it All

Inspired by Mr. Boulet's website. I got it from Mr. Keith Ikeda-Barry who's also a participant in the 30 Days Project!

This is really not much...but I guess I could entertain you with a little rant I have about this whole 'moving on' project I decided to sign up for:

Sometimes I feel that it's such a heavy task that it seems impossible to attain. I remember my first heartbreak...and it took me two years, and one god-awful-online-relationship-that-lasted-three-months-which-just-made-things-worse just to move on and learn my lesson. It felt like forever.

And once again...it feels like forever. With an additional nagging feeling that I'm making another impending mistake in the horizon...(that I never wish will happen....I really don't.)

If indeed there are reincarnations...I'd love to be reincarnated to an inanimate object. Perhaps they don't have feelings...and their sole responsibility is to be a rock that's meant to cut off someone's arm a' la 127 hours style. Right now, emotions are a big deal of pain in my life. Even the littlest of pleasures eventually depress me. I don't know why...or maybe I do know why. It's probably my fear of loss, or my sense of denial over feelings of grief....who knows right? Probably both.

It's funny that I'm heartbroken because I realize that it's pointless to chase after the wind, not because someone deliberately broke my heart. In a sense, I broke my own heart for letting myself "like/love" someone to a pointless, foreveralone-esque degree.

Anyway...yeah. I just want to be the wind. Floating around, making people smile or pissed with the gusts I make and not being aware of it because I'm comprised of atoms that buzz around to make air.

...who or what moves those atoms in such a way that it can take off roofs or entire houses on a strong monsoon season? Is the atomic/molecular activity so strong that it just deliberately forms itself into a raging storm? God knows.

Too bad, because like the mysterious activity of the wind currents...God won't explain to me why I feel this way and not some other way instead. Oh the struggles of practicing one's faith and being human and sane.

bakuna (vaccine)

akala ko panaginip
pakiramdam ko'y umakyat ako sa langit
yun pala'y dahil sa lalim ng tulog ko...
ay binuhat nyo nako papunta dun sa kwarto

nagising ako nun,
pero nagtulug-tulugan ako
kasi natuwa ako
na nakapulupot sa bisig nyo

matapos nun natulog na ulit ako
nalimutan ang lahat ng sakit
galing dun sa bakuna
na pinilit ko nalang itulog
habang nakadapa ako

For father's day...:)

the art of getting by

sometimes it's just letting go of all inhibitions. haha. :)

it's based on this song:

You Already Know - Bombay Bicycle Club
the moment we forgot we were just good friends
i moved my arm her face went red again
one more bus home
another silent weekend

said love was painted gold
like all things growing old
the paint peels and slowly falls
you already know (3 x)

looking out the glass
always sit together
we both know we could be someone better
not with our heads like London weather

said love was painted gold
like all things growing old
the paint peels and slowly fallsyou already know (4 x)

Slipping Through the Cracks

Words are not enough
Sometimes silence makes it clear
.....Yet my heart is ill
---14
i long to say it
but i fear i never will
it's just that i love.....
---15

no drawings for now...sorry guys.

indie day

Trying to keep up with the pace of things. Yesterday was our Independence Day Holiday. A pretty special event for me personally...but I'll delve into the details another time, though this picture says a little bit of what it is. Hehe. I hope I still manage to keep up with the pace of the 30daysproject....I'm getting a bit behind! Eep.

UPDATE:

here's the day 10 and 11 drawings

sometimes...letting go makes you feel tired...and alone. it's the fear i guess.

monochromicorn

it's dark and i can't see...but i know it's you who i'll follow...

 Let black be black

And white be white

Clarity as bright as day

Let it be, come what may...

Cover me in the shadow of your light.

Ever guiding me, ever saving me

From the snares of the enemy

Til the dawn of eternity...

---

All I can say for today is that....only a few people like noir films. Because a lot of us prefer a whole range of gray areas that fit our selfish standards. Black and white is so passe. Gradient is the trend. After all it does set the mood...keeps everything....'balanced'.

Eventually colorblindness will be an asset and people with 20/20 visions are cursed. The people who bask in the light are morons...and darkness is considered heaven.

We're in for a ride my friends. Buckle up.

Listen Easy

At the end of the day
Your Light matters more
Than anything I want or desire

The "love" I wish for pales in comparison
Even in just the slightest hint o' whisper
And that quiets me more than anything

At the end of the day
This is all I need
More than anything I want or desire.



Not much to say today...the song says it all. Goodnight everyone :)

Another Double Feature...heh

Day 06

This is for June 6. Also an illustration/interpretation I made for a poem my friend wrote. It's about time too since she wrote it for almost two months now! So sorry, Patring! Haha. :)

Here's the origin of inspiration for this:

Calle Crisologo (15 Apr 2012)
By Pat San Jose
Sa isang lumang kalye
Matapos ng taimtim na pag-usal
Sa isang birong pagsamo
Papitik-pitik na kinulayan
Ng kadiliman ang
Iyong kadiliman.

Pasuray suray na paglakad
Sa patutunguhang serbesa ang nagdikta
Pagyapos sa malamig at lumang kalyeng
Ginahasa ng mga karwahe
Ng pagkakataon, ng pag-asa,
Ng mga sirang pangarap na ‘di malasing
ng isang tagay pa.

At nais ko mang hawakan ang iyong kamay
Ako’y pitik ng liwanag na nangangailangan
rin ng gabay
Sa payak nating sabay na pagsuray
Sa isang lumang kalye
Bumulong sa akin ang gabi –
Ng pagkakataon, ng pag-asa –
Ngunit naging masyadong mabilis ang
pagdating ng umaga.

 She owns a blog...please do visit her wonderful thoughts here:  http://pagsablay.wordpress.com/

Here's for June 7:

Day 07

Is inspired by another favorite musician of mine: Newton Faulkner! Hooohah!
Just for the lulz

A Sequel...

Consider this as day 04 and 05 since I kinda finished it around the wee hours of the morning. The first half was done at June 4 and the other was finished at June 5. Haha!

It's actually a continuation of this post. Just to reveal that moving on is not simply leaving something behind, but more importantly that it's about moving forward to something or in my case, Someone.

It's stressed perfectly by this song written by one of my teenage heroes -- Barbie Almalbis!

http://youtu.be/hVLJ2s_KDvU -- PLEASE VISIT AND WATCH THE SONG. AAAH!

Goodbye My Shadow - Barbie Almalbis
Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye
The door is now closed
From the fears and the lies

Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye
The door is now closed
From the fears and the lies

There is
A ladder to climb
But I can’t carry you
Coz it’s one at a time

Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye
There are no regrets
When it’s love who decides

I’m leaving you
I’m leaving you tonight
I’m going to
I’m going to the light

Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye my shadow
Goodbye my shadow
Hoo

I’m leaving you
I’m leaving you tonight
I’m going to
I’m going to the light

I’m leaving you
I’m leaving you tonight
I’m going to
I’m going to the light

Blue Skies

sooooo instagramish. haha. this is for day 3...based on a song that is also listed on my Mixtape Project! So this is kinda like hitting two birds with one stone LOLS. For my friend, Faye who loves Noah and the Whale...and for all of us out there moving on, there's always blue skies coming even if it's hard :)

and a blast from the past drawing:

This used to be you...
One sleepless night
When all my thoughts were about you
Wishing that you were holding me and all

Sometimes I wish it still,
But not to the point of making me ill
From sleeplessness and senseless wishing.
Nope. Not anymore indeed. Instead...

I'd like to think that he's someone
Who's deserving to hold me
Until we both fall asleep
Content, because our wishes have been fulfilled.