You know that feeling you were just trying in earnest to start right? Only to have your motives eventually tested and proven to be at a fault? It's a shitty feeling, totally demotivating and just a downer. But giving up just shows you and everybody else what a pathetic sore loser you are. So it's an option...but not a good one.
I just thought I was in the right direction you know...that I'm showing my true skills because hey, that's what everybody's insisting on me whenever I feel down. But at least now I know it's just words sweetened up with honey and barbecue sauce. I just have concluded now that potential is nothing. Talent is nothing. It's all proven with finished, polished output.
And do I have that?
Have a proven myself with anything?
Do I even know what to prove in the first place? Or what I want to actually prove for that matter?
No...and no...what's there to prove when you have nothing?
Is this post a negative, mopey whiny one?
I don't know anymore. And looking back at my drawings...it's obvious that I don't. What the fuck am I doing this for anyway? What's the message? Should there be one? Does it even fucking matter?
I don't know. I don't know anything. Like fucking Jon Snow. Heck, at least he figured out Ygritte's happy buttons. *spoiler alert* LOL.
I guess it's a good thing I'm suddenly left with nothing -- again. Since I have to work my way up again and figure out the right stuff that should be coming out of my hands. (super saiyan, maybe? or the rasengan? probably the chidori? lmao.) AGAIN.
AGAIN...a-gain...A-GAIN. A. GAIN. I guess repetition gives something in return...huh. Food for thought there.